Requirements exist to protect you just as much as anyone else. Here's an honest look at what agencies and clinics are looking for — and what to do if now isn't the right time.
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) publishes evidence-based guidelines that most fertility clinics follow. Individual agencies may have slightly different requirements, but this is a solid baseline for what to expect.
ASRM recommends carriers be between 21 and 45. Most agencies set their upper limit at 39, and many prefer 35 or under. The minimum of 21 is firm across the board.
A BMI under 35 is the standard threshold, though some clinics draw the line at 32 or 30. This is primarily a safety consideration — higher BMIs carry increased anesthesia and pregnancy risks.
You must have carried at least one pregnancy to term and currently be raising that child. This confirms your body can handle a full pregnancy and that you understand what you're agreeing to from experience.
Things like severe preeclampsia, placenta previa, or multiple preterm births can disqualify you. Minor complications on their own usually don't — it depends on the specifics and what the fertility clinic's medical team decides.
Tobacco use — including vaping — is a disqualifier. Most agencies require 12 months smoke-free before applying. Marijuana is also disqualifying in most cases, even in states where it's legal.
A psychological evaluation is required. Agencies want to confirm you have a solid support network and understand the emotional realities of carrying a baby you'll relinquish at birth. This isn't a hurdle — it's protection for you.
A background check is standard. Certain felony convictions — particularly violent crimes or crimes involving children — will disqualify you. Minor past issues may not, depending on the agency and the circumstances.
You don't need to be well-off — but agencies look for financial stability. Being on public assistance isn't automatic disqualification, but it can raise concerns about motivation. The goal is for compensation to be a meaningful bonus, not a lifeline.
Where you live matters. Some states have clear, surrogate-friendly laws that make the legal process straightforward. Others are murky or outright hostile to surrogacy agreements. Here's a general breakdown.
These states have the clearest legal pathways and the most agencies actively working there.
Generally legal, but laws may require specific contract terms or have additional steps for parental rights.
These states have laws that make surrogacy contracts unenforceable or impose criminal penalties. The landscape does change — always check current law.
Some requirements are fixed. Others aren't. If your situation could change, here are the most practical things you can do in the meantime.
This is the single most common fixable disqualifier. Most agencies require being tobacco-free — including vaping and nicotine patches — for at least 12 months before applying. Give yourself a full year, then come back.
If BMI is the barrier, a sustained, sustainable change is the goal — not a crash diet before your screening. Clinics do follow-up checks. Small, consistent progress over several months is exactly what they're looking for.
No prior births yet? That requirement is non-negotiable — but it's also perfectly time-bound. If you plan on having your own children, surrogacy could still be something you do after. Many surrogates carry after completing their own families.
If you don't have a partner or close family support yet, that's worth investing in before applying. Surrogacy is a marathon, not a sprint. Agencies want to see that you're not going through it alone.
If you live in a difficult state, it's worth monitoring legislation. Several states have moved toward clearer, more surrogate-friendly laws in recent years. What's true today may not be true in two years.
If you're unsure whether a specific part of your history is disqualifying, talking to a reproductive attorney (not a general lawyer) is the clearest way to get an honest answer for your exact situation.
Surrogacy isn't a now-or-never decision. The quiz takes 60 seconds, it's free, and it'll tell you where you stand without any pressure attached.
Take the Quiz When You're ReadyIf carrying a pregnancy isn't the right path right now, that doesn't close the door entirely. There are other meaningful ways to support families who are building through assisted reproduction.
Egg donors have a different set of eligibility requirements — no prior pregnancy needed, typically ages 21–32, and a different medical and psychological screening process. If surrogacy isn't right for you, egg donation might be. Compensation varies but is generally in the $5,000–$15,000 range per cycle.
Women who have been through surrogacy are invaluable to those just starting. Many agencies run mentor programs where experienced surrogates guide new ones through the process. If you've been a surrogate before, this is a way to stay involved without another medical commitment.
Online surrogacy communities — like the SMILES Facebook groups, Surrogacy Community on Reddit, or local support circles — are full of women at every stage. Being an informed, supportive voice in these spaces makes a real difference for people who are early in the process and scared.